How I Help

Create the life you want to live

You might be struggling with feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or shame. Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed or not good enough. Perhaps the inner voice in your head is constantly telling you that you’re not trying hard enough. Or you lie awake at night worrying about what others think of you. 

Often we're highly successful in one area of our life, such as our career, yet find ourselves unable to express our needs in another, such as our relationships.

I wholeheartedly agree with you that life can be challenging when we're struggling with these negative thoughts about ourselves and I understand how difficult this can be. 

It’s not always easy managing these feelings but the good news is that it's possible to feel better.

I know it may sound selfish or uncomfortable to put yourself first but by learning to do so we can actually give more to others and be more available for them. This is the key to creating a life you absolutely love living.

Does this sound familiar?

Perhaps right now you're anxious about Covid or juggling lots of roles on top of your paid job. Most women in a recent study when asked what they wanted said "Rest, rest, rest". 

Here are some statements that might feel familiar to you:

  • I’m aware that past relationships and trauma are getting in the way of enjoying a fulfilled life.
  • I feel selfish and uncomfortable when I try to put myself first.
  • I am doing really well in my career but feel exhausted by my slavish need for perfection
  • I self-sabotage all my efforts and intentions.
  • I often feel like a doormat.
  • I find it difficult to say "No" in case I hurt someone’s feelings or they get rejected if I tell them how I feel.
  • I often lie awake at night feeling anxious and worry about how others see me.
  • I get depressed and ruminate over actions I’ve taken in the past that I now regret.
  • The voice in my head is constantly telling me I need to try harder.
  • I'm usually the one who holds space for others but no-one seems to be doing that for me right now.
  • I feel I’m constantly giving in relationships but it never feels enough.

I'm not ashamed anymore...

"I thought counselling might help me overcome some of my phobias but I didn’t expect it could make such a difference to my life in general. I’m not ashamed anymore and realise they were a perfectly logical way of coping in order to protect myself that I had developed since childhood." – Mary

Reach your full potential 

We weren't born with the belief that we're not good enough or that we don't deserve to have our needs met. Most beliefs were gained in childhood from experiences taught to us by our carers or teachers and then somehow internalised to believe them as facts.  

As your therapist, we'll explore these self-limiting beliefs and their origins and replace them with ones that allow you to accept yourself and nurture that part of you that supports your growth to reach your full potential. 

I can help you be a person of value, to step into your power, and be the best version of yourself

Benefits of working with me

  • Your relationships will improve and you'll feel more confident asking for your needs to be met.
  • You'll start to heal and recover from past trauma and painful events.
  • You'll start to feel more confident and be able to manage what life throws at you.
  • You'll become more aware of your outdated limiting beliefs and replace them with updated ones.  
  • You'll learn to cultivate self-value and develop internal boundaries to help you say "No" to unreasonable demands.
  • You'll learn that you're not selfish by looking after yourself and that this doesn't stop you being available for others. 
  • You'll become more aware of the patterns of behaviour that sabotage your intentions and prevent you from reaching your potential.
  • You'll learn to feel self-compassion for those parts of you that have previously not been heard or allowed to shine.

I'll never forget what you taught me...

"I never realised what a huge sense of guilt I’ve been carrying since mum died all these years, yet you guided me through the process of seeing that what happened was not my fault. Since the weight has been lifted from my shoulders you’ve helped me with other issues and I will never forget what you’ve taught me." – Chantelle

My approach

“There is nothing bad except thinking makes it so” – Shakespeare

I'm a person-centred integrative counsellor which means I can apply many theories such as Transactional Analysis, Phenomenology, CBT, Gestalt, and Buddhism. You may be wondering, "How can that help me?" Well, my vast amount of knowledge and skills informs my work and helps me find an approach that best fits your needs, your issues, and what we both feel works best for you.

I work in a creative way built on my experience and will often invite you to sense how your body is responding to your feelings, using a variety of techniques such as Focusing, EFT and mindfulness.   

Using techniques such as Focusing and EFT helps us tap into our various different parts. This allows us to become more compassionate towards ourselves and alleviate feelings such as stress, anxiety, guilt, and shame. During our sessions, I may invite you to explore all those parts of you when we both agree that this would be helpful. (Read more on Focusing and EFT in the FAQs.)

Working with mindfulness can assist us in discovering our own thoughts, feelings, and abilities. Often we feel we need to change our external circumstances or relationships in order to be happy. However, it's observing our own thoughts and feelings that can often lead us to take responsibility for ourselves and learn to manage our own feelings.

What's the next step?

Does this way of working resonate with you? Read details of my prices and how the sessions work, then book a free consultation to see if we're a good fit